Writing Prompt #152 ~ The Chariot


She couldn’t breathe. She suffocated really. Everything was tainted red, or black. It oscillated between the two. Her lungs didn’t pump enough oxygen. Her heart kept missing beats. Terrified. She was terrified. She was going to be trampled by the feelings.

There was only one way. She trembled… And pierced the skin. As blood pearled against the edge of the blade, some of the pain became physical. That she could deal with: that was more comfortable. She looked at her scarred arm. As blood flowed free, it purged her of the fear, the aggression, the anger, all feelings that terrified her. She had no idea how she could handle them. They were overwhelming, overpowering and only the process of hurting herself took the edge off.

She watched her blood leave her body washing away the emotional whirlwind. When it stopped, she cleaned it with fresh water. She wrapped the mark in a small bandage and pulled her long sleeve over it. She looked in the mirror: the distress was gone. But she still looked awfully pale. Some cold water would do the trick and a touch of blush. Yes it would work.

“Jess? Will you come down please? I need your help.”
Deep breath, it’ll be alright. Until next time it’ll be alright. She stepped down the stairs.
“There she is, my perfect child.”
Not perfect Mother, definitely not. She smiled to the Pastor.
“Your mother said you wanted to volunteer for the little event we have next week.”
No. She almost said it. She was almost strong enough. Then she wasn’t.
“Yes. I’d love to help.”
“Isn’t she great Father? Every other teenager would rather party and have sex but not my beautiful daughter. She knows what’s important.”
The Pastor scrutinized her for a moment longer than necessary. She smiled again. She was always stronger after she purged herself, but never enough to contradict her mother, or her father. Or her siblings for that matter. They depended on her. They needed her to be the strong one, the one who never falters, never loses her temper, never doubts. But she wasn’t and she did. But nobody saw it. They were too busy deciding what she should be, what her life should become. If she wasn’t accepted at that university in London, nothing would change. Maybe one day the blade would go too deep and she’d never have to worry about anything anymore.

©scolpron2016

In response to Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie The Chariot/Strength
And in response to the Daily Post writing prompt edge

I’m two days late, but then again my SO and I crossed the country twice in three days. France is nowhere near as big as Canada but 22 hours of driving in three days remains exhausting.

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16 Comments Add yours

  1. Lynn Love says:

    ‘blood pearled against the edge of the blade’. Lovely phrase! A great story – a quiet tragedy going on behind closed doors. Nicely done

    Liked by 2 people

    1. MyLovingWife says:

      French turn I believe. I couldn’t find an equivalent I liked for the verb “perler” so I kept it 😉.
      Thank you for your kind comment.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Lynn Love says:

        It’s a great phrase. It was a pleasure to read. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  2. wildchild47 says:

    Thanks for sharing your response to the MLMM prompt. You’ve done a wonderful job of incorporating elements of the Tarot card “the Chariot” and the DP as well.

    As already noted, the line about the blood pearl …. very striking and powerful.

    The content/subject matter is disturbing, not that this is a bad thing at all – I think you’ve written a very sensitive piece that lends light in understanding those who choose to self-harm, for all the complicated reasons they do. You’ve written a story that captures the essence and pain and emotional turbulence very well.

    Once again, thank you for sharing …. definitely a strong story.
    Pat

    Liked by 1 person

    1. MyLovingWife says:

      I haven’t tagged the post yet but will. I should probably have put a disclaimer. It can be triggerish. Still when I saw that particular representation of the Chariot the story just hit me. Sometimes the aggression is against oneself: that would be the Chariot reversed 😉.
      To be honest, it’s not a card that I’ve pulled often if ever (nor is strength) and I wasn’t familiar with all it signifies.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. wildchild47 says:

        I rarely dabble in Tarot – I’ve had readings done before but it’s not something I personally “attune to.”
        Since I chose to take over this prompt for Yves, although she did offer the collages instead, I search out basics, more or less, then leave the rest to each individual to pursue, as they wish or, relate given their own personal experiences and understanding.

        As for a disclaimer – I would suggest you just trust your instincts. Personally, I can say I was “shocked” only in that I wasn’t expecting this type of response at all – it’s a very unique response/idea to the card. And I’m good with it. It’s not a particularly overly sensitive topic for me – even though I was a cutter for many years. But for some, it may trigger.

        As for you idea to pursue the thought you had, I wouldn’t second guess yourself. For whatever reasons it came to mind, it did – and writing the story, as sensitively and mindfully as you have, isn’t a negative.

        Sometimes in life, certain “taboo” topics – as they come to life and light, will make people uncomfortable – because it is beyond the scope of their experiences and understanding. Personally I don’t think you’ve portrayed the story in any way that is a conscious or deliberate provocation.

        Thanks for sharing your additional thoughts and ideas “behind the scenes” as it were.

        Pat

        Liked by 1 person

        1. MyLovingWife says:

          I dabbled because I was writing a fanfic (harry potter) with a Seer character, and so I taught myself how to read tarot.
          Friend of mine, practitioner of the craft said I was a natural anyway. Not sure whether he was being kind but it got me interested. For some years I pulled a 5 card spread every month.
          As far as provocation, it’s not my thing but I do believe that as writers we have a mission to speak of difficult subjects. With respect: everything I write comes from a place of compassion and respect particularly when I haven’t experienced the story personally.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. wildchild47 says:

          but I do believe that as writers we have a mission to speak of difficult subjects. With respect:

          Very well said …. and certainly, you have achieved it well in this piece.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Let it come from the heart and commented:
    A really powerful story on a dark subject that goes on behind closed doors. Very well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. MyLovingWife says:

      Thank you for the reblog

      Liked by 1 person

  4. rogershipp says:

    Intense. This is what I thought of as well…Well told.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. MyLovingWife says:

      Thank you. I couldn’t find your post on it though. Mustn’t have looked well enough.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. rogershipp says:

        My blog is read my ‘personals’ … I did not go with my first thoughts. The ‘grief’ is not mine to share.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. MyLovingWife says:

          I understand. Not easy to speak of someone else’s struggle.

          Liked by 1 person

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