In the best of ways.
You know how sometimes life has this uncanny way of throwing curve balls at you, not one but several at a time and you can only strive to catch them all? Well, that’s what’s been happening to me and the reason I haven’t been writing a whole lot lately.
I’m nowhere near collapsing nor am I in a bad place. In fact, I’m in a very happy place; I’m where my husband and I have been wanting to be for a while. Life and health got in the way. However I have a tendency to do everything 100%. If I’m going to write, I’m going to do so every day. I’m not a person of half-measure. So the past few months have been tough; the past few weeks exhausting.
After some years, my husband and I are expecting a baby… and it will require some reforming in my way of doing things. But between work and the pregnancy I’ve been struggling to keep my eyes open when I come back from the office. I’m also navigating the warren of emotions and hormonal disruptions – something I’m not particularly familiar with to be honest – all the while managing a full time job and helping my husband in the administrative duties of his start-up company.
So yes, something had to give and it’s been the writing. Which isn’t good and I have to get back to it. But in all honesty, it’s a bit difficult to do; I have to get back into the rhythm and on top of that, after not being solicited for some time, my muse acts like a sullen child. She watches me as if I’d left her stranded on a desert island for years without food to survive, not even a barrel of rum to get drunk when loneliness was too much to bear. So yes, she’s not collaborating with me.
And I’m tired. I know why: whatever regain of energy pregnant women are supposed to experience during their second trimester, I’m spending at work since I’m on my own mostly (1 colleague on vacation and 1 on maternity leave). That’s fair; part of the deal. Even now, I’m merely an oscitant being struggling to keep her vertebrae straight long enough to finish these few words.
Yet, I’ll take the exhaustion, I’ll take the hormonal rollercoaster – which all in all isn’t so bad – I’ll even take the fact that the Muse is sulking. She’ll get over it I’m sure 😛 . Because there’s a little being kicking my belly right now. And because it’s the beginning of what may prove to be the most challenging, most rewarding and definitely much expected adventure of our lives.
So I hope you’ll forgive me for not posting as much as usual. I hope you’ll continue reading what few contributions I can make through the course of the week. And I will get back in writing shape as soon as I can.
In the meantime I’m wishing you the same happiness I’m experiencing right now. Whether it’s a child, a project that’s finally come to fruition, a special moment shared with someone you love… make sure you appreciate. I know I am… although I can barely tie my shoelaces now and I wonder what it’s going to be like when I reach 6 or 8 month LOL.
Wishing you a fabulous week 🙂
In response to Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie’s wordle #156 prompt.
1. Tough 2. Collapse 3. Syncretism (n. .) 4. Uncanny 5. Catch 6. Strand 7. Barrel 8. Tendency 9. Reform 10. Warren 11. Vertebra 12. Oscitant ((adj.)