“You should see them, falling over themselves to satisfy my every whim.”
“I’ve got no doubt these hapless idiots would do anything for you. But what do you repay them with? They’ve got to ask for some favours in return.”
“Well sometimes they do. But it’s all a question of manipulating them. It’s not like I’m going to waste a chance on a good marriage for one of these uglies.”
There was a question in the other woman’s face; a beautiful face many men died for. She should know. So she explained.
“For one I have a rule; every Sunday is my evening alone so they draw straws every Sunday to know which one of them won’t be spending a night with me the week after.”
“And after that. How do you deal with each of them?”
“I’m getting there. See, the easiest one is Sleepy. I mean; he’s just not awake most of the time so I essentially tell him we’ve done the deed and he’s happy. Happy’s also easy in fact because he’s glad to just spend time with me; whether we talk or just sit side by side he’s good. Mostly he talks nonsense but I pretend to love it. And he’s even happier when he brings me a pretty stone and I moon over it. You should see the diamonds and rubies they get out of their mine. It’s a wonder no woman ever got to them. In this particular way they’re keepers. But they have no idea how to make money. And of course they won’t let me come with them so I have no idea where it is. But they’d empty it for me if I asked.”
Snow White took a sip from her tea. Finding the dwarves’ house had been a coincidence but what a stroke of luck! Really so far the only thing she had to do was look pretty when they came back. The 7 morons didn’t need to know that she had hired people to clean the house while they were away and to cook. They thought her a marvel. She was of course.
“Bashful and Sneezy are just a breeze to handle. I merely need to untie my cape for him to blush to his roots and rush out of the room. Sneezy… well, he ends up feeling so sorry about sneezing that he too leaves without bothering me too much. As far as Doc is concerned, well he’s perfectly content to give me lessons about history and mathematics, all these useless things for a princess like me. I merely need to be beautiful and sing a few songs. They’re all at my feet. A bit like you.”
“There was more to it darling.” The other woman answered, her tone clipped. “Some cunning too.”
“Right…” Snow White doubted it but well women used their wiles as they saw fit. “Now you’d think that Dopey and Grumpy wouldn’t be too much of trouble but they’re actually the most resilient. Dopey loses a lot when drawing straws, and he can be placated with some bedtime stories mostly but not always. He got a few kisses: sloppy really. Grumpy… well if he weren’t so small he might be my kind of man. Demanding, dominant.”
“Interesting. And how have you avoided to do it with him?”
“Well I used the comb of our last encounter.”
The other woman laughed.
“You kept that?”
“I figured it might be useful. You’d never guess that Grumpy likes his beard well combed. I offer to do it for him that it might tickle me in all the right places. I give him some ale and the next day, he’s too grumpy to admit he doesn’t remember the deed. So I persuade him everything was so perfect he needn’t be grumpy at all.”
“Well you are a bit cunning too.”
“Do you want an apple? I got some from the tree earlier this morning.”
“Sure. Thank you.”
Snow White watched her stepmother leave the room; really the woman was beautiful but what was the point of staying alone in this castle? She had to pay all her expenses. She should remarry and let the man pay for everything. It had been a genius idea her stepmother had to send her away letting people think they hated each other. Snow White was clever enough to know that two gorgeous women could only end up competing for male attention; and really they didn’t need to. There were so many men around you could lead around by the nose. She had seven of her own. And the necklaces, earrings and other jewels to prove it.
When her stepmother came back, she held a couple of beautiful apples, red as only those of her late father’s garden were.
“Here you go dear.”
“Now what about you? I heard you received a proposal. Negotiating a wedding?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. Eat it, they’re really sweet.”
Snow White took a bite and everything came to a standstill. She fainted falling from her chair, the apple rolling away from her open hand.
The queen watched down her stepdaughter before calling her servants. She would send her encased in a glass case to Prince Charming’s kingdom. The Prince’s kiss would wake Snow White. She sighed in relief. All was ending well enough.
The negotiations for this wedding had been long and tedious. She’d had to work hard to convince the prince her stepdaughter wasn’t the seductress the pamphlet made her. And even if she were, now she knew Snow enjoyed dominant men, she would definitely leave a message for her future husband so he knew how to manage his bride. She on the other hand would go spend some time at the dwarves’ place. After all, she had magic enough to make them more to her taste for a night or more. She’d been lonely for way too long.
In response to Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie’s Tale Weaver prompt by Lorraine Reverse/Naughty Fairy Tales